Title: The Magnificent Butler
Pairings: Kanda/Allen, Tyki/Lavi
Genres: Humor, Romance
Rating: PG-13, will be NC-17 in future chapters.
Warnings: Unbeta'd, strong language, future smut. AU
Summary: AU. In which Kanda is the housemaster and Allen his personal butler.
Author's Note: This has been on my computer for quite some time now, and I feel like I need to continue it and publish it. So here goes. And don't let the summary mislead you ;)
Part One; In Which The Butler Kicks
It was on a nice morning, with the dew glistening on the fine, green, green grass, when Allen Walker strode through the long and beautiful hallways.
The hallways were richly decorated with magnificent paintings of Japan in the Edo time. Actually, the whole mansion was styled in a way that when you entered you had the feeling to be in the land of the rising sun. The owner of the mansion was namely Japanese with the heart of a seasoned samurai.
Allen stopped in front of large, oak doors. He knew his way through the many hallways by heart now. Which was pretty surprising, considering the fact he had the art of getting lost everywhere, even when he still lived in his own house.
But ever since the day the master of the mansion had kindly threatened the young man to come live with him, Allen never had gotten lost once. Of course, in exchange of getting feed and having a place to sleep, Allen became the master’s personal butler.
Not slave, servant, or even maid—but butler.
Two years had passed since then, and Allen Walker had grown into a handsome seventeen-year-old young man. And, he was also one fine butler with good cooking skills.
With a smile on his pale face, Allen knocked twice on the door and waited, one hand holding a silver plate with the master’s breakfast. No sounds or a “Come in” were heard, so Allen took the privilege to enter the room without a voiced permission.
He had grown accustomed to the master’s habits and knew that the Japanese young man liked to wake up at four in the morning, go train in the large yard to perfect his sword skills, shower, and meditate one hour before staying in the library the man owned until lunchtime. Afterwards, the master often left to wherever the man felt like going and came back before dinner, shower again, and retreat in his room for his work and go to bed at ten o’clock.
Well, everything after lunchtime was bullshit. Because Allen’s master may be a twenty-year-old Japanese male and very traditional—but he was also what Allen called him in his British accent an ‘arsehole’ who tended to work on peoples’ nerves.
Thus the reason why Allen opened the blinds to let the sunrays inside and, Allen secretly hoped, blind the master. Permanently. It didn’t work, as the young master turned on his other side. Allen huffed, already becoming aggravated with the man. Without a twinge of remorse, he raised his leg and managed to kick the sleeping male out of the king-sized bed. He heard the thud of a body hitting the ground and Allen was satisfied, his smile back on his face.
A string of curses soon followed, but Allen paid no heed to that, as he was too busy redoing the bed’s sheets. It’s not because the master made Allen want to shove his favourite teapot down the Japanese’s throat that he didn’t like to do his work. Labour had always been a part of his life; before he met Yuu Kanda – his new master and owner of the mansion – he had been serving Count Marian Cross.
And Allen often wished he had just committed suicide instead of working for that man. Never in his seventeen years had he met such a disgracing Count with womanizing and alcoholic habits. Not to mention that Count Cross was a terrible gambler and loved money more than anything. Count Cross was a master – without the pun – in disappearing and escaping the debt-collectors. Because even if Count Marian Cross was insanely rich; he always managed to have some kind of debt he couldn’t pay off. Thus Allen had been given the order to take care of all his debts before Count Cross had left him in the hands of Yuu Kanda.
Indeed: as long as the debts weren’t paid, Allen Walker was forced to serve master Kanda and listen to his every order—the latter one not being necessary right. In the two years Allen lived in the mansion, he had come to realize that Kanda was a moron and both men weren’t on very good terms.
Luckily, they sometimes received a visit of Sir Lavi and Lord Tyki Mikk to break the heavy tension. But it often ended in more chaos and with a very angry Japanese going Kamikaze on Sir Lavi while Lord Tyki simply chuckled and sipped on his Earl Grey tea, chatting with Allen.
All in all, Allen couldn’t really complain, since he – although begrudgingly – had to admit that living with Kanda had its positive sides.
“Damn beansprout! What the fuck was that for?” the hoarse voice of Kanda indicated he had drunk too much sake again. Allen rolled his eyes and walked to the other side of the bed, staring down at his supposed master.
The Japanese male looked up, default scowl already set in place on his handsome face—or would be handsome if the man would at least smile once in a while.
Never going to happen, Allen thought, not impressed by Kanda’s midnight eyes that were glaring daggers at him.
“I’m sorry, Master Kanda,” Allen spoke, depositing the silver plate on the nearby desk and placing his hands on his hips. Now he looked like he was scolding his master. “But if you can’t wake up on your own, or when I ask you to, then I have no other choice but use drastic measures.”
“’drastic measures,’ my ass,” Kanda repeated the words in a high tone, furrowing deeper. “You just like to kick me, you shitty butler.”
Allen rolled his eyes again. He tented to do that a lot around his master. “Please. Don’t mimic me when it makes you look even more retarded than you already are. Plus, it’s not like you can fire me; Count Cross will come and shoot some holes in that empty head of yours. So act like a grown man and deal with it.” Allen turned around and walked away, leaving Kanda on the ground.
“Oi! You’re supposed to serve me breakfast!”
“I did: it’s on the desk. Be sure to eat everything, yes?” Allen approached his master and softly patted the male on the head, all the while smiling in pure amusement.
“Good boy. Now, Allen will be cleaning the mansion a bit. Cheers!” And he was out of the room, whistling a happy tune with the sounds of his shoes resounding on the marble floor.
Kanda was about to pop a vein. Or kill someone, preferably a white-haired butler.
“Come back here, you fucking idiot!”
All he got back in respond was loud laughter. Kanda just about tore his nightshirt in two with his teeth.
“Damn that beansprout!”
Allen was watering the flowers, which consisted of some spider lilies, hibiscuses, yellow camellias, hydrangeas, and azaleas while Timcanpy – his Golden Retriever – was happily whipping his tail against Allen’s legs. There were also sakura trees adorning the large garden, and a big pond in the center of it with lotuses and Koi fish.
A loud yell that could only come from one person suddenly interrupted him, and said person was storming inside the garden. Kanda was still wearing his nightclothes when he marched barefoot to Allen, and he stopped in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Do you know what time it is?” he asked in all his seriousness.
Allen stopped his task momentarily to blink at Kanda, a bit confused. “Time to jump off a cliff?” A growl, “Nine o’clock, sir?”
“Exactly. Why didn’t you wake me up at four?”
“Because you came home at two in the morning, and when I was actually going to wake you up at four, I just couldn’t do it when is saw you sleeping like a baby.” Allen chuckled but Kanda wasn’t too happy.
“If you keep spewing shit like that, I swear I will accidentally throw Mugen at you,” he spat and turned around, flipping his butler the bird. Allen hummed and patted Timcanpy, not leaving his silver eyes from Kanda’s retreating back.
“You know, Tim, I think he’s just grumpy because I hit him a little bit too hard. He’s limping like he just got laid.” The thought only of his master doing it with someone made Allen snort. The master was too much of a blockhead with the lack of positive emotions to even kiss, see love a person.
“What a waste. I’m certain he could have anybody he wanted,” Allen spoke to himself, still patting Timcanpy. “But the real problem is his attitude! People can as well talk to a wall; at least it doesn’t glare daggers. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d end up without a lover for the rest of his life.”
Allen sighed softly when Kanda was out of sight and back in the mansion. The master was probably going to train with his sword. His Mugen seemed to be the only thing he really loved, aside from soba and green tea.
Timcanpy nudged Allen with his nose, lightly biting in the young man’s leg to get his attention. Allen looked down and the dog stared at him with his large eyes, whining a bit, as if trying to say something.
Allen cocked a slender white eyebrow, “I know, Tim, but it’s not like I can say a thing like that to the moron. He’d cut off my tongue before I’d get the words out.” Luckily, the young butler understood Timcanpy clearly. After all, the dog had grown up with Allen and they were inseparable.
The golden-haired dog growled and barked, biting a bit harder now and Allen yelped, backing away.
“Ouch! The heck? I already told you it’s impossible! Now drop the subject; I’ve still got a lot to do since the guests—” his eyes widened and he groaned, slapping his forehead and slowly bringing the hand down his face.
“Okay. I think Kanda’s going to murder me—no, wait; bloody annihilate me! I completely forgot to tell him we are having guests today! Damn it…” he quickly placed the hose back where it belonged, cutting the water off and quickly ran towards the mansion, Timcanpy following right behind him.
He came to a stop in front of the glass doors and was ready to open them and go to where his master would be – the training room – when an idea struck his mind. Allen blinked, but a smirk soon skirted his pale face—an expression that shouldn’t even be there since it made the young man look scary.
“Well,” he started, “Actually I think it would be great to keep their visit as a surprise. It’s not like Master Kanda would exactly mind it if I don’t tell him. Besides, knowing the jerk, he’s probably going to lock himself up in his room and being all Emo again.”
Allen hummed and his smirk grew. “It’s decided! Come, Timcanpy! We’re going to bake cakes and other yummy pastries, with lots of sugar and sweets!”
The dog barked and they both entered the mansion, Allen’s mood somehow brightening by the mere thought in his mind of a certain Japanese male with a pure horror-stricken face. He chuckled lowly.
“Oh yes. Master Kanda adores sweets. He’ll be overjoyed, isn’t that right, boy?”
Timcanpy only whined in fear.